He doesn’t know who I am. He has never really met me, even though we have talked, he was not listening, therefore, he can not know me. He may have heard of me, I write article after article about him. Though I wish I didn’t, the more I learn the more I fall in love. How strange it is, to feel so much for someone who doesn’t know your name. I’v met him. In fact if he really cared he would have remembered, we talked, laughed and goofed around for hours. All his friends remember my name, but whenever I show up he asked again and again what my name is. The pain in your chest after realizing something you know is true, but you really don’t want it to be, is unbearable. It feels like an ocean of lava worked its way into your heart, then hardened just so it could crack open and start the process all over again. Yet, I can not shed a tear. He can’t help it, he meets people all the time, he can’t possibly remember every name. But still it hurts. I tell myself every day that its no big deal, but it does nothing for the fire. It almost makes it worse, like throwing water on a grease fire, an explosion occurs that just keeps spreading. Finally, I ended up coming to the decision of letting the lava live its life and take the course it must, and, hopefully, it completes its course and dries up completely. Until then the what if’s will stand front and center in my mind hoping that one day, he will see me, that he will know me. That I will no longer be UNKNOWN in his eyes.
“Please fire disappear, let me feel the ice of snow and let the pain be nullified.”